written by Delia Koolick, Elementary Social Worker
Welcome back to school! It has been quite an exciting month of students and staff reconnecting with each other and seeing new friendships form. Every year, the social work team and the health and wellness workshop guide, Delaney, lead wellness lessons with all students where we integrate social emotional learning with Montessori pedagogy to support this back to school transition. During our first wellness lesson of the school year, we talk about how students might be feeling nervous or excited or a mix of different emotions as the school year gets going. Caregivers might be feeling the same way!
This time of year, we’re hoping for our students to be in connection mode- meaning they’re ready and able to connect with others. However, this time of year can also feel stressful, resulting in protection mode. The beginning of the school year means change- and change is really hard! I have a picture in my office that says “Change is rough, but I am tough” and I’ve been telling myself that every day since the first day of school. There are so many new things that come with a new school year. For some students, they have a new lead guide or a new classroom assistant. Some students are at a brand new school! Some students miss the students that transitioned to upper elementary or lower adolescence. All students are navigating a new group of classmates and creating community together. Because of all these big changes, we might notice our students struggling to stay regulated and connected with their classroom community.
In order to understand our students’ feelings and ability to regulate, it’s helpful to understand what’s happening for them internally in their brains and nervous systems. In “Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors” by Robyn Gobbel describes the brain and nervous system in a very accessible way using some very fun animals. Our brain has three neural pathways that Gobbel describes as the “owl brain”, the “watchdog brain” and the “possum brain”. In our owl brain, we’re in connection mode and ready to learn- we’re regulated! In our watchdog brain, we’re in protection mode. Just like my dog Maisie, a german shepard mix, who is always on high alert. When our brains are in watchdog mode, it detects a sense of danger and we see an increase in energy- this might mean big feelings of aggression or anxiety. In our possum brain, our brains detect danger and we see a decrease in energy or even shut down (think of a possum playing dead). Our students' brains are detecting some sense of danger with changes in the environment- which is expected! How we respond to their watchdog and possum brains is key.
So, how do we do that? We have to stay in our owl brains. Easier said than done! But, if we can stay calm and regulated, our students’ watchdog or possum brains will sense that co-regulation. When your student is sharing about a hard moment at school or showing you big emotions or behaviors, they are communicating that they need our owl brain's support. We can do this with a method called acknowledge, validate, normalize, reassure. We can acknowledge feelings (“I see…”, “I hear…”), validate those feelings (“It makes sense that…”), normalize those feelings (“Many students are feeling….”), and reassure our students (“we care about…”, “adults at school care about…”). From there, students can feel supported and know that there are adults that will help them if their brains start to sense danger.
Anxiety is a normal feeling- uncomfortable, but normal! If you saw Inside Out 2 this summer, you’ll probably remember the Anxiety character saying her job is to plan for the future. It’s our job to help students make sure Anxiety is not at the console at all times and that even when she is, there is a trusted network of support. As we get going into the school year, students will build that support and their confidence and it won’t feel so hard. They’ll be able to stay in the owl brains for longer! Here’s to a great school year of learning and co-regulation- we got this!